China Begins Exporting Pollution in Preparation for 2022 Olympics

The industrial nation of China has begun preparation for the upcoming Winter Olympic games of 2022 by exporting pollution to other countries. China’s President Xi Jinping announced the country plans in his latest speech before Parliament. 

“Four years may seem like a long time, but have you been outside lately? It is bad.  Really, really bad. It burns your eyes, your throat gets all clogged. I have to put a saline solution in my nose every night before bed, otherwise I can’t breathe.” A solemn Xi stated. “We must plan now, and that is why I am happy to announce the Pollution reducing treaty we have signed with Yemen, Uganda, North Korea, and parts of Detroit.” 

It is currently unclear how the pollution will get to these other countries, except for neighboring North Korea where China is setting up giant fans on its border in an effort to just blow the pollution in North Korea general direction. In reaction to this, South Korea is setting up giant fans on its border with the North in case any of the pollution floats their way.

It is theorized that the rest of the pollution will be shipped to the other countries, and released in their ports. Detroit will begin accepting some of the pollution later this year, and is saying that with automobile production down, no one will even notice. Xi went on to say, “By the time the winter Olympics are here in 2022, we will be ready, and hopefully the snow will sometime soon, be white again.”