FBI thwarts plot by Janet Jackson to rush stage and pants Justin Timberlake during Super Bowl halftime show

On the eve of the biggest sporting event in the world, the FBI has foiled a plot by Janet Jackson to upset Justin Timberlake’s halftime show by rushing the stage, and pantsing the performer. Pantsing is the act of pulling off an unsuspecting person’s pants and possibly underwear.  It is usually performed when someone is holding a lunch tray or wearing sweatpants.

This appears to be a revenge plot against Justin Timberlake for removing Janet Jackson’s during her Super Bowl halftime show in 2004. That move revealed Jackson’s nipple, and led to the term “wardrobe malfunction.”

Janet Jackson’s plan was to rush the stage, and pull Justin Timberlake’s pants down to his ankles in front of the thousands in attendance and 112 million worldwide. 

“She has been stewing over that for years” claim an unnamed source.  “Janet Jackson has been patiently planning her revenge for 14 years.”  The FBI received an anonymous tip on the eve of the Super Bowl, and stormed the hotel Ms. Jackson was staying at in the outskirts of Minneapolis. There they uncovered her plan including tickets to the game, a pathway to the stage, chloroform, and special de-pantsing gloves. 

FBI agent Edward Jackson spoke to the press. “Ms. Jackson had tickets to the game. Her plan was to rush the stage, and aggressively pull Mr. Timberlake’s pants down during his tribute to Prince. Her objective was to pull both the pants and underpants down exposing Mr. Timberlake’s penis. It is not clear at this time if her attempt to pull down his underwear was unsuccessful if she would have made a second attempt through a different person”

Janet Jackson is currently in custody along with her bodyguard, choreographer, agent, make-up artist, fashion designer, hair stylist and 18 people in her entourage.

CultureBryan FlynnComment