In Wake of #MeToo Movement, Academy Awards Audience Expected to Be 100% Seat Fillers 

With so many stars being accused of sexual assault, including the likes of James Franco, along with Kevin Spacey, Jeffrey Tambor, Jeremy Piven, Michael Douglas, Richard Dreyfuss, Brian Singer, Paul Haggis, Ben Vereen, Morgan Spurlock, Louis CK, Ed Westick, Danny Masterson, Dustin Hoffman, James Toback, Ben Affleck, Oliver Stone, Aziz Ansari, Andy Dick, Ben Vereen, Brett Ratner, Charlie Sheen, Gary Goddard, John Lasseter, and Tom Sizemore. And with the number of actors being accused of being hypocritical for supporting the movement rising to 4000, the audience for this year’s academy awards will be comprised of nothing but seat fillers. 

Actor Matthew Dougal, who has been in the business for 14 years, mainly as an extra, and who has credit including “guy waiting for pizza” in a local Pizza Hut commercial feels this could be his big chance. “I can’t wait, I’m sitting next to the girl from that Metamucil commercial. She knows the guy from the Sprint commercials who used to do the Verizon commercials, so I’m bringing lots of headshots.” Dougal added, “I just hope I don’t do anything stupid between now and then like grope a stylist or expose myself to a gaffer. Seeing how that is how 90% of Hollywood acts, it’s not going to be easy.”

It is unclear how the nominees will receive their awards, but the producers don’t appear worried as they are too busy dealing with sexual harassment claims of their own. 

Jimmy Kimmel is set to host the Oscars and is currently under investigation for any wrongdoing by the CIA, FBI, Scotland Yard, M16, the KGB and the Illuminati.

SocietyBryan FlynnComment